Parenthood: God is their Father first.

"What does it mean to be a good mother?"

I was searching myself for what felt true, not what was truth itself.

My mind was in "blur mode" (A term I use to describe how it feels when I just can't think straight.)

I knew I needed to journal it out.

A mere excerpt of the extremely long list that ensued:

• To always be there for them

• To provide for them

• To protect them

• To discipline them in ways of righteousness

• To pray for them

• To listen to them

• To lay my life down for them

• To strengthen them and help them

• To love them unconditionally

As I wrote, something else had begun to spell itself out:

This is who God IS for us.

Parenthood and all of its merits are inspired by WHO GOD IS.

He is our Provider, our Protector, Our Counselor and Guide… He is our Father.

We are a reflection of Him.

A muddied reflection - because I know I’m not doing it perfectly!! Lord knows, I fall short on the DAILY in reflecting His Parenthood to my kids.

BUT, praise God, they can have HIM alongside of me!

Wait a second.

Something wasn't quite right about that sentence... God is alongside of me? That makes it sound like I'm Number One. I leaned into this thought.

I then got a revelation that will forever change how I see myself as a Mother:

GOD is their Father first.

You see, how I’ve been envisioning parenting with God is this - I do as much as I can and what I can’t do, He steps in to accomplish.

Here’s the problem:

I am the one who is fully responsible for them and God is my side-kick.

The weight of my children’s lives lie on my shoulders and it’s a heavy one to bear.

Shame, guilt and unrelenting pressure are constants in my life.

But this model is not based on truth.

The TRUTH is that God is their Heavenly Father first and foremost.

He has been their Father since their conception and before.

He dreamed them, He created them and He has loved them outside of time and space!

They are His and He is theirs.

Their names are written in His hands!

He is their Parent FIRST and He has called me to be their Mother under HIS authority.

When I’m leading under someone else’s authority...

• I give them first priority.

• I honor their leadership by taking their lead.

• I create space for them to be heard and seen.

• I submit to them, making sure I don’t take on their roles, responsibilities and authority as my own.

• And then, in the areas in which I’ve been asked to ‘make the call,’ I do it relying on their wisdom, protecting the culture they’ve created and upholding the principles that they have taught me.

THIS is how I can parent my child under God.

I feel the weight just lifting off me as I meditate on the truth that I can shift my gaze from all that I “need” to do, to the God who is already at work in my kids’ lives.

I don’t have to figure it all out. I can just draw close to Him and allow Him to show me what He is doing and how I can join Him.

When hurdles come I can know that they were not a surprise to the Lord and that He already has the truth and the power that can overcome that obstacle.

Our kids are in the Lord’s hands, folks.

They may choose whatever path they choose, but I can be sure that LOVE Himself is pursuing them and guiding them in more ways than I ever could.

My responsibility is still sobering BUT I can let go of the guilt and shame when it comes to not knowing all the answers, words or actions needed.

I get to point my children to their Heavenly Father, reminding them that ey can get everything they need from the everlasting, ever-loving God who will never leave them.

I get to create space for them to go first to God before they even come to me.

I thank God that I get to be alongside HIM in this parenting journey.