I've Been Afraid to Fail.

I realized recently that I have been afraid to fail.

I wondered why I was procrastinating, seemly unable to get something done that needed to be done weeks ago. It was that scenario where I really wanted to do it... but I didn't want to do it! You know?

Deep down I knew it was because I was afraid. Afraid that I would fail.

The irony was that due to this fear of failure, "Father, I just feel like I'm failing," ended up being that day's journal entry to God.

Fear of failure meant that I was failing to do the thing that was on my heart to do.

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"...but that is the way fear serves us: it always sides with the thing we are afraid of." George MacDonald*

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Then I felt what I like to call, "The Shift." I've mentioned it before. It's like, when my vision gets a little broader and I begin to be able to perceive things through a lens of truth. The fog clears a bit. The fear dies down. The problem remains but Peace has entered the room.

I didn't hear His voice, I just had a knowing:

I do not need to fear failure.

Not because I won't experience it... No, I don't need to fear failure because when I do, God Himself will journey with me into the middle of it and out the other side.

What does this mean?

It means that my encounters with failure be without shame and without rejection.

With my ear to His voice, my identity will not be molded, bent or bruised by failure.

The consequences will be real but, again, He'll walk with me through them.

And get this: my failures will be taken and transformed into gifts. Gifts that will look like lessons and experiences that I can use to guide and help others with! Gifts that will make me a compassionate friend, a better leader and someone who will continue to depend on her Heavenly Father each and every step of the way.

And so, I'm picking up that thing I need to do and I'm going for it.

I'm scheduling it in and each time I hesitate... I'm going to remind myself of the above.

I may fail.

It may not turn out to the standard I would like it to.

I may pick up some precious lessons on the way...

But here I go!

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Encouraging Verses:

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

1 Peter 5:7

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Psalm 119:76

Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.

Deuteronomy 31:8

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Romans 8:37-39

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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* George MacDonald, The Princess and The Goblin